Posted by Kristin

I just came across this post through a friend on Facebook who is a nanny but not a parent. Relevant to our last class discussion on rape culture as it suggests people may not be aware of their own contributions to it, whether you’re a parent or not.

http://www.babble.com/parenting/ways-we-accidentally-teach-our-kids-rape-culture/

I’m interested to hear reactions to it. I’ve noticed there is a certain dismissal parents (not excluding myself) may give children when using what may seem to be harmless sayings. Like, “you’ll understand when you’re older, “ or “because I said so.” I remember feeling so frustrated hearing those kinds of things in place of explanations as a child! But I hadn’t considered the implications of “boys will be boys,” in the way this babble bit points out.

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2 Responses to Posted by Kristin

  1. stephanieamis says:

    This was a really good article to read. It’s true from the examples… How people in general can contribute to the rape culture without realizing it. I’ve heard all those things growing up, especially “boys will be boys”, “give this person a hug goodbye”, and “women should dress modest and be pure until marriage”. It has become so common that most people say it out of habit to their children. It’s really been happening for decades.

    Recently, my 8 year old niece went through an uncomfortable situation at her school. This boy in her class kept teasing her for no reason and when she told her teacher … The teacher brushed it off as “boys will be boys”. That same boy (who should have been told it’s not okay to tease people from the earlier incident) told my niece in gym later that day that he wanted to have sex with her. My niece once again told an adult (the gym teacher) & he just told the boy to go play with the other boys. So in two incidents, the message these adults where giving to my niece were “boys will be boys” and that her feelings of being uncomfortable was invalid. The message to the boy was that he could get away with inappropriate behavior and not have consequences. Because we’ve (me, her parents, grandparents) been telling my niece since toddler years, that if she ever feel uncomfortable by someone to keep telling adults until someone does something…. She told both of her parents when she got home.

    So I feel it’s very important to change these dangerous patterns in society. Kids learn from adults and receive internal messages from them that can shape their future beliefs. It starts with educating adults so that they can educate their children. I’m totally sharing this article on my fb!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. alaphia26 says:

    This article was very interesting to read. I have heard almost all these phrases at least once in my life. I was even told the following, women should dress modest and be pure until marriage. Overall this article did not surprise me. I was not shock because within societies are these informal rules that are created to guide all of us living in the community. The problem with this “guideline” is that it is written in the male gaze which excludes people who do not fit these guidelines. And the people who are excluded from this “guideline” is likely to become the group that can be taken of advantage…etc. I think as we humans we tend to create guidelines or rules like this to have understanding of certain roles. This becomes a problem because it can limit an individual or create opportunities where people are taken advantage of.

    Like

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